Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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