Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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