You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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