I'm jealous of your bromance
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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