I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
