As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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