Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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