that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I love you. Go after that dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
