last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
