I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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