You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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