Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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