I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize