there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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