she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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