So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize