the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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