This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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