he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i believe in u and ur pee
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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