Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
