I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
