just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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