Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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