That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
