worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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