Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
