Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry silmarien hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

Fav 29 5626 1205
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal

Fav 36 5938 1045
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.

(519): View more from Ontario

She did the bend and snap...

Fav 29 8078 1499
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.

Fav 11 1261 4120
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail

Fav 11 1329 2556
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes

Fav 2 1026 711
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.

Fav 1 621 935
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table

Fav 0 10 60
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

How’s big weiner McGee?

(1-214): View more from Texas

I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much

Fav 0 135 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT