Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
