My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
