K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
