I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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