so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i think i have two assholes
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
