I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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