There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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