There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
