dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
