I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
