Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
God, I missed his penis.
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