if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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