Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
