Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
