Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
