I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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