Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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