I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize