yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
