she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
