UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
