I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
