I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
