dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
