i don't like sucking hair
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
