So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
ok first of all what the fuck
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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