went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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