That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
