READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
