just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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